Our Year of Living Famously

It is very rare to read something that gives you an “aha” moment – that moment when you realize someone’s words have impacted you in a way you could never have imagined, perhaps expressed your own deepest feelings more articulately than you ever could. Writer/director Ben Lewin had one of those moments when he read Mark O’Brien’s essay On Seeing a Sex Surrogate. Just a few minutes later, and already convinced it would be our next project, my husband and partner of over 30 years (that would be Ben) brought the essay to me. As I read Mark’s story, I understood why he was so captivated, but I was not certain that this profoundly personal and moving exposé would have the same appeal for audiences. Besides the fact that a story about sex, disability and religious faith was never going to be an easy pitch, Mark’s essay ended on a note of disillusionment that Ben dismisses as a possible “bad hair day”, but about which I felt more concerned. Fortunately, Ben was not discouraged by my own reservations and forged ahead to find out more about Mark O’Brien and the world of sex surrogacy to which a door had opened – I’m thankful that he did!

Not long after, we learned that Susan Fernbach had been Mark’s girlfriend and literary partner for the five years prior to his death. We spent a weekend with Susan and it was a true meeting of the minds and we haven’t looked back since. We never imagined the journey that was to follow, although Ben had a sense that, if he could do with film what Mark had done in his short essay ­– namely move people to view the world and their own relationships in a slightly different way – then it would be time well spent.

During the past 18 years since we moved to LA from Australia, people have asked us “why LA?” “For the promise of fame and fortune, and streets paved with gold!” was my usual cynical retort. Aussies are hardwired with cynicism and I think it’s one of the tools that helped us survive the roller-coaster Hollywood existence that stretched before us. The first 10 years or so were full of promise, always with a carrot dangling to keep us hoping for the next big break. After a while though, it became harder and, with three children, two dogs, a cat and a mortgage, the need to supplement our dwindling income pushed us to look beyond filmmaking for ways to make a living. Ben started trading in vintage watches and I fell into a job working as a literary editor, producing high-end catalogues for a company that, coincidentally, sold vintage classic cars. I began that job in March 2006 and Ben discovered Mark O’Brien’s essay later that year. Experience had taught me that decades could go by before a small independent film reached the screen, so I continued working to support the family while Ben, after a substantial dry spell, launched into writing the screenplay for THE SURROGATE, aka THE SESSIONS.

People often ask us how long did it take to make the film and to reach this point of recognition in the LA film biz – we tend to date this project from January 2007 when we met Susan Fernbach in her hometown in Northern California. Five years later, almost to the day, we sold the film to Fox Searchlight at the 2012 Sundance Film Festival. Ben spent the best part of two and half years writing and polishing the screenplay – quick turnaround is not his forté if there is no deadline! At the outset, we gave little thought to how we would finance the film, but we did have one fortuitous event that gave us confidence. Susan had introduced Ben to the real surrogate Cheryl Cohen Greene and, when he went to meet Cheryl for the first time, a close friend went with him. Julius had known Ben for 40 years and had simply accompanied Ben on his trip to Berkeley for fun. But, when they left that first meeting with Cheryl, Julius was smitten by the story and offered to put up the first 20% of our budget. At that stage, we had absolutely no idea what our budget would be, but we knew it would be small (one of the attractions of the story was that it would be fairly inexpensive to make), and Julius was a man who had been successful in business and had a very generous heart.

I believe the next crucial stage came in the middle of 2010 when I was at my own emotional low point. I felt that we had struggled long enough in tinsel town and that it was time to leave LA. I remember calling Ben from work one day and telling him that I needed a light at the end of the tunnel and, for me, that was returning to Australia. I started the process of having our dogs immunized and I arranged for the house to be painted. By that time, we had submitted the screenplay to a number of development companies, as well as funding bodies in Australia, and had been rejected by the best them – well, basically, all of them! Ben was less eager about uprooting and, realizing that conventional avenues of financing were unlikely to work, suggested we simply raise the finance by asking all our friends and family to chip in. Ben headed off to our hometown of Melbourne, Australia, and began making calls. Cold calling and “begging” for money was unfamiliar territory for both of us, but it was our only option. People were always polite, even when the answer was “no”, but again we had a stroke of good luck when our second angel came on board. Maurice was another successful businessman who had been a patron of the arts for many years but, like Julius, had never invested in films. He read the screenplay and offered up another significant slice of the budget, bringing us close to half of what we needed. The rest we pieced together with small and very small amounts from everyone and anyone we knew until we reached our goal.

With the budget in the bank, we were able to move into the next stage – casting. Around the same time, our producing partner Stephen Nemeth had come on board. Stephen is a native of California and known throughout Hollywood, and he introduced the project to our casting director Ronnie Yeskel. Ronnie loved the story and she brought years of great casting experience, passion and commitment to the challenging task of finding someone to play a man who couldn’t move from the neck down and who spent much of his time in an iron lung. It was Ronnie who suggested John Hawkes, and her instincts couldn’t have been sharper. Ben took just a little persuading – “that old craggy meth addict in Winter’s Bone couldn’t possibly be the younger, softer Mark O’Brien he was looking for.” But Ben looked at everything John had done and, after one two-hour meeting, both men knew that Hawkes was the guy for the role.

With John Hawkes on board, Hollywood pricked up its ears and word was out about a screenplay with a great role for a woman in her 40s. We had never imagined having access to the wonderful A-list actresses that were coming our way, but when the call came through that Helen Hunt wanted to meet with Ben, we all sat up. Another two-hour meeting and we had our two lead actors.

This project feels like it has been charmed from the beginning. Although Ben feels that the casting process is the most difficult, it is also very exciting – if the casting is successful, filming can be much easier, but if the casting goes awry, it can be very difficult to overcome. In the end, we had a wonderful cast and crew that we called our surrogate family, and the Special Jury Prize for Ensemble Acting that we received in Sundance was a testament to the skill and talent they brought to the film.

There’s so much more to tell about production (what do you mean we need more money?), post-production (do we really have to edit the film in our garage?), submitting to the Sundance Film Festival (what? More money?) and then the thrill of standing ovations and bidding wars (they said this would never happen!).

This article by Judi Levine was first published by Stage 32.